Stampin your foot like a five year old
by Porcelain-Shadow
Summary: Buffy gets attacked whilst she and Spike are on patrol and is knocked unconscious. Spike, worried takes her to his crypt only to find that when she wakes up she's acting like a child!
1. Chapter 1

**Stamping your foot like a five year old.**

Buffy gets attacked by a weird monster whilst she and Spike are on patrol and is knocked unconscious. Spike, worried (Cos everybody knows how Spike feels about Buffy. ¬.¬') takes her to his crypt only to find that when she wakes up she doesn't remember him plus something even worse… She's acting like a kid!

**_Shadow_**: Hey! This is my sort of old story! Well it's actually brand new but it's been on my comp for a while cos I don't have internet on my laptop (Which is where all me stories are!! )

Here's the deal! Best review gets to be by assistant in writing! Plus you can be in the story (And of course in my delightful little mini comics that come before the story!) Phew! Hope that works! I luv reviews! So expect a reply from everyone's review! On with the Disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't, never have and, shamefully, never will own BTVS but I own this story so MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Quick recap on how the story goes…

"blah"-Talking

_Blah_----Spike thinking.

**Blah**----Buffy thinking.

You could here their arguing from outside the cemetery…

"Buffy you've got to admit, there's something between us!" He said whilst staking a Vamp in a white shirt that had been stained with blood. More vamps, oh joy…

"Of course there's something between us! You're just very confused between love ,AKA. What is not there, and hate ,AKA. What is sooo there!!" She yelled.

"I don't mean that you stupid bint! There's something good between us!"

"You mean like… I danno…" Buffy crept over to him, pressed him up to the wall and whispered "Lust? Hunger? Maybe even love?" She stalked off, but before the turned a corner she turned to him and shouted, "Never gonna happen! Not even in my worst nightmares!"

Spike roared, "What the hell does it take?! Is it SO hard for you to see-"

Suddenly he heard Buffy screaming and he ran round the corner. His eyes widened he saw Buffy being bitten by a humongous Cobra (Huge snake with weird collar thingy search for it if you still don't get it cos I cant explain it!!).

He ran over and jumped on it's neck. He saw the cobra throw Buffy against a crypt wall. _Alright, now I'm pissed! _He thought, and squeezed so hard it's neck broke, the snake fell limp… And so did Buffy…

_Bolox!_

Short and sweet! Plz review!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Stamping your foot like a five year old.**

Buffy gets attacked by a weird monster whilst she and Spike are on patrol and is knocked unconscious. Spike, worried (Cos everybody knows how Spike feels about Buffy. ¬.¬') takes her to his crypt only to find that when she wakes up she doesn't remember him plus something even worse… She's acting like a kid!

**_Shadow: _**Hey! I'm back with more chapters!! I've updated on the rest of my stories (as you've probably noticed!) and I thought it would be good to update this one soon too!

I haven got many reviews yet but thank you to MonDieu666 and AutumnSoleil for your reviews! You're the first!

Anyway, on with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't, never have and, shamefully, never will own BTVS but I own this story so MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Quick recap on how the story goes…

"blah"-Talking

_Blah_----Spike thinking.

**Blah**----Buffy thinking.

Spike quickly picked up the unconscious slayer and carried her bridal style to his crypt. _Jesus! Who would have thought she'd way this much?_ Spike thought as he put her down on his bed, _She looks like such an angel… Too bad she lives to make my life a living hell… Wait… Make that unlife…_ and went to get a wet cloth from the kitchen.

When he got back though, he was shocked to see that the slayer was missing!

"Oi! Slayer! Get back here! You could get a concussion!" He yelled.

He heard a slight high pitch moan from behind the sofa. He looked behind it to see the slayer curled up in a ball!

"Buffy? What are you doing down there?"

"L-leave me alone! G-Go away!" She said.

"What?"

"Please mister! I don't know you! Leave me alone!"

"What do you mean you don't know me? Buffy… What's wrong, pet?"

"I-I'm not a pet!" She mumbled, hiding her face, "I'm not meant to talk to strangers, mister! Please I just wanna go home to my mother!"

Spike suddenly noticed something… "Why are you talking with an English accent?"

"I-I always talk like this… Please, leave me alone!"

"No, you don't! You talk with an American accent! Like Willow and Xander!"

Buffy gasped and sat up, "You know Willow and Xander?"

"Of course! I'm their… Well I wouldn't call us friends per say… More like acquaintances…"

"I want my mommy!" She whined.

"I thought you just said you wanted to talk to Willow?"

"Willow! I wanna see Willow!"

Spike sighed, "Right! Willow! Ok!" He bent down and said, "But first we need to get you warm, Buffy…"

Buffy whined again.

"Come one. I'll get you a cover and you can wait here while I get Willow, Ok?"

"Mmmhmmm…" Buffy nodded.

"Good!" Spike said, and lead her over to the bed. There, he tucked her in and even kissed her forehead (_Not like she's gonna complain… Actin' like a bloody child…_).

_There! That wasn't so hard! _"I'm gonna go now ok?"

Buffy suddenly got out of bed and hugged him, "I don't wanna stay here alone!" She complained.

Spike sighed… _This could make things difficult…_


	3. Chapter 3

Stamping your foot like a five year old.

Buffy gets attacked by a weird monster whilst she and Spike are on patrol and is knocked unconscious. Spike, worried (Cos everybody knows how Spike feels about Buffy. ¬.¬') takes her to his crypt only to find that when she wakes up she doesn't remember him plus something even worse… She's acting like a kid!

Shadow: Hey! I'm back with more chapters!! I've updated on the rest of my stories (as you've probably noticed!) and I thought it would be good to update this one soon too!  
I haven't got many reviews yet but thank you to …(insert name from e-mail) for your review! You're the first!  
Anyway, on with the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't, never have and, shamefully, never will own BTVS but I own this story so MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Quick recap on how the story goes…

"blah"-Talking Blah----Spike thinking.  
Blah----Buffy thinking.

"Buffy! Will you please stop running and get back into the bloody bed so I can get bloody Red to sort you out!" Spike yelled. Bloody bint's too energetic for her own good!

"But I like the candles!" Buffy said cheerfully (in her new English accent), blowing out each one.

"Buffy I can't see!" Spike took out his lighter and started running around after her.

"Light" Blow "No light!"

"Buffy!"

"What!?!" She wined.

"Stop blowing out the candles, luv, I can't see and if can't see how the hell do you expect me to get you tucked in so I can get Red!"

Buffy faked a gasp, "Mister Blondie Bear said a naughty word! Bad Mister Blondie Bear!"

"Oh for fucks sake!"

"Another naughty word! Bad boy!"

Spike was getting a little tired of this, "All right, pet. Why don't you come with me to find Red okay?"

"Are we going on a trip Mister Blondie Bear?" Buffy smiled.

"Yes!"

Buffy jumped up and down, "Yay! I get to go on a trip with mister Blondie Bear!"

"Only if you're a good girl and start calling me by my real name!"

"And what's that?"

Spike thought for a minute… What interesting names could he give himself… He sighed. He couldn't take advantage of her like that… Knowing these types of curses she's know exactly what she was doing and sure enough he'd get a beating if he made a fool of her…

"Just call me Spike, luv."

"Ok Spike Luv!"

"No no! I mean Spike! Just Spike!"

Buffy put on a playful smile "Spike Just Spike!"

Spike caught on to her little game, "Buffy, call me Spike!"

Buffy pouted, "Aw! Mister Spike ruined all my fun!"

Spike tried to put on a happy face as he said: "Well why don' we go and have some fun now! Let's go and see Willow and The Whelp ok?"

Buffy frowned, "Who's The Whelp?"

"It's a nickname for Xander!"

"Oooh! Can I call him that?"

Spike didn't want to disappoint her, plus he could use a sidekick in name calling… Sad I know but I need a break plus it'll mean points for me in the Spike vs. Whelp match!

"Sure! But only if you're a good girl and don't run off while we go to see our friends ok?"

"Yay" Buffy yelled.

Spike took that as a yes. They went out the door and Spike smiled as he saw Buffy stake a vamp that had been staring in though the window.

"Bad person staring at us!" Buffy yelled.

She was as bad as Dru, but god did he like it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Stamping your foot like a five year old. 

**AM SOOO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IT'S MY GCSE YR N I AM WORKIN MY ASS OFF!! I CAN BARELY WRITE AS IT IS!! SOZ BUT UPDATES R GONNA B A LIL SLOW...**

Buffy gets attacked by a weird monster whilst she and Spike are on patrol and is knocked unconscious. Spike, worried (Cos everybody knows how Spike feels about Buffy. ╛.╛'), takes her to his crypt only to find that when she wakes up she doesn't remember him plus something even worse... She's acting like a kid!

Disclaimer: I don't, never have and, shamefully, never will own BTVS but I own this story so MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Quick recap on how the story goes...

"blah"-Talking.  
_Blah_----Spike thinking.  
**Blah**----Buffy thinking.

Well, that didn't go as planned. Spike thought as he and Buffy finally got to the magic shop.

It had taken three times the time that he had expected it to take to get there.

First Buffy ran off in search of Naughty people, as she called them. After 10 minutes of Slaying, as you might call it but it could never really have been considered that, seeing as she tried to tickle the vamps first, the only reason she staked them all was because they would play along with her little game.

Then Spike ran into his demon friend Clem, who instantly got into a little conversation with Buffy about some TV show which name Spike didn't quite catch, but it sounded something like Family Affairs. All the while Spike was leaning against a tree, mumbling about what a waste if time this was. He shut up after Slayer and Demon threatened to stake him. He knew Clem wouldn't, but with Buffy in this child-like manner of hers (plus she still had her slayer abilities), he didn't want to take any chances.

After they got out of a long conversation that went from Family Affairs, to Barbie, to bloody lipstick, Spike finally got Buffy to go to the magic shop by reminding her that they still had to go and see Willow and The Whelp.

Willow and Xander were both shocked to see Buffy holding Spike's hand at they walked through the front door of the Magic Shop.

Anya, on the other hand, thought it was very sweet and for a few moments got into a fight with Giles about "orgasm buddies", and the fact that Spike and Buffy would never be "orgasm buddies".

Ignoring everyone else, Buffy ran over to Willow and hugged her, accidentally using slayer strength, so Willow kind of fell to the floor gasping for air when she finally let go.

"Buffy? What's wrong with you?" Xander asked, "First you come here holding the evil-undead's hand, then you nearly squeeze the life out of Wills? What next?"

Buffy put her finger t his mouth and said, "Quiet Whelp!"

That kept him in silent confusion for a while (Remember she also has an English accent now).

"Willow, Mr Spike-"

"Just Spike, luv." Spike butted in.

"Ahem, Spike says something's wrong with me! He says I'm acting different!"

"Well Buffy..." Willow struggled to tell her, "You're sort of acting like a child..."

"With an English accent too!" Xander dared to but in.

"Hush, Whelp! I've always talked like this!" Buffy hissed.

"Buffy... How old are you?"

"Don't be silly, Wills! You know how old I am!" Buffy said.

"Ah, but I don't know do I, pet?" Spike saves the day!

"Oh..." Buffy looked a bit sad, "No, you don't, do you?"

"Well, why don't you tell me then, ay, pet?" Spike asked.

The others stood stunned, how could he be that good at controlling her?

"You silly thing, Spike! I'm..."

She held up one hand and spread out all her fingers┘

"Five!"

* * *

Porcelain:Ooo... Awesome wasn't it!

Spike: Yeah... I guess...

P:... WTF???

S: You take too long and it's short!

P:... Shut up.

S: Smirk

P: Buffy!!! He's being mean again!!

Buffy: Brandishes Stake

S: ... Shutting up.

* * *

Read n Review!

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